I sit here, greatly perturbed.
A weight is resting heavily on me.
My throat is parched.
Water.
The dreary, chunky clouds are a reflection.
I feel so alone.
Ah. There. Some tears.
Nausea.
Loss.
Fear.
Worry.
An undeniable urge to do something remains a stone in my chest. Why can’t I remove the chains that are dragging me down… from enjoying life? Do I even want them gone? They are all I know and just today, I realized that that is truly what I’m afraid of the most: floating up into the unknown.
We all have these thoughts at some point — it’s just that others are better at breaking them down and handling them in a kind manner.
Of course, this is not the first time I’ve had such serious doubts about myself and the future. The sense of doom hits rather suddenly — like a bug to the eye when you’re riding your bike.
Stop.
Breathe.
The answers are inside of us. It’s just a matter of “picking up the pieces” and finding ourselves again.
A Journal for Ashley 
Very reflective and soulful. Melancholy certainly has its place at times. Hoping you get through and piece together who you were and find who you will be Ashley…
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Thank you very much for your kind words. 💕 I think everything has been exacerbated to some degree after my aunt died last month. I haven’t talked about it here, but it’s opened up a lot of confusion and pain for me. 😥
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You will co course get through this Ashley. Talking with those close to you will help, but time will heal, as they say. Be well…
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